Category: Life

Conversations with your Body!

So tonight I had a rousing conversation with my now nonexistent uterus. Went something like this:

Me: (holding my belly) Why are you doing this to me? Oh wait I did this to you. I had you unceremoniously ripped from my abdomen.

Uterus: That’s right, you did this to me, if you are in pain, then you must learn to deal with your treachery.

Me: Your right, you did allow me to birth 3 beautiful children, but see, I allowed you to do your purpose and do it wonderfully. You knew after the 3rd that we weren’t going to have any more. So when you decided to act up and cause me pain and misery, the only action I had left was to evict you. So technically this is all your fault.

Uterus: Soooo, you’re saying this is my fault?

Me: Yes, now stop!! I can’t take any more pain, I can’t take the love hate relationship you are causing me to have with food!! I love it, it hates me!!

Uterus: I’m just helping you lose the weight you put on and were afraid you were going to put on after having me ripped from your body.

Me: Well not like this!! I need food to recover, I need to not be in pain to recover!! So you need to stop this right now??

Uterus: What do you want me to do? I don’t live there anymore!!! Go blame it on some other body part that is still taking up residence in your ungrateful body!!

6 Days Post Surgery

Okay so I guess there are things that you just have to find out for yourself is what happens after having a hysterectomy.

  1. You don’t really feel any different after having your baby making factory removed (although I did get to keep the two towers).
  2. But you do feel different. You get depressed, and you cry for no reason.
  3. Recovery is different for everyone and mine is just sucking!! I’ve been running fevers (dr said to call her if it goes above 101.5, right now it’s only 99.5) and have had a non stop headache for a couple of days. Oh and don’t get me started on the constipation!!!! I have never been sooo backed up in my life, but I hear I’m taking the good stuff: Miralax! I just hope it kicks in soon, more than just freaking farting!!!
  4. I get to binge watch the entire series of Gilmore Girls!!!! I really love that show!!
  5. I had to order a new heating pad that didn’t shut off every damn 30 minutes!!! I want to sleep the whole night through and I keep waking up having to turn it back on!! Come on Amazon, get it here soon!!
  6. Sucks when the weather is soooo nice and I can’t get out in it!!
  7. oh and surprisingly enough, I am actually missing work!! I should check my temp, I think it might have just spiked!!
  8. I was sooo hoping to try out some new recipes while I was off work, but standing up that long takes too much out of me.
  9. Food nauseates me, but i’ve been craving a hot fudge sundae for 6 days now!!!!!

I could go on, but I think that’s enough for now! Maybe next week I’ll feel up to cooking and maybe start on sewing that dress I’ve been wanting to.

Post Surgery

So I had my hysterectomy last Friday (2/17/2017). I obviously survived or I wouldn’t be writing this. Everything went as planned. For some reason I thought I would feel different having my baby making factory removed, but I don’t! I was supposed to start my period yesterday and actually woke up wondering if she was going to make an appearance!! Then it hit me!! NO SHE WILL NEVER BE SHOWING UP AGAIN!!! Bells and whistles going off here!!

So post surgery I have been having a lot of gas, which is to be expected because of the gas they fill  your stomach with to perform the surgery. It is slowly leaking out of my body, and I do mean leaking. Sometimes I get a warning when it’s going to evacuate my body, then other times not so much, like last night I bent over to plug in my phone and you would have thought I had a kazoo coming out of my ass!! Thank god I live alone!!!!

The pain has been very manageable thank goodness. I only need to take the strong stuff at night before going to sleep, but it still causes some very strange dreams while napping during the day. Just yesterday, I fell asleep on the couch and had a very vivid life like dream that they filled my ceiling with water (like a pool). There was about two feet of it up there, not sure how it wasn’t coming down on me, but as I’m looking u[ at the water, these octagon shape bubbles appear and then they start to pop and out come wasps!!!!!! Woke my ass right up!!!!